Tired of getting smoke blown up your butt?  Tobacco companies just received a windfall from a U.S. District Court judge, after finding the companies complicit in their misrepresentations and deceptive practices, for more than 50 years!  While the Justice Department had asked for $130B for smoking education and cessation programs, a Bush-appointed attorney general had lowered that request to only $10B.  What can the average American citizen do?  Not much - except to vote to ban smoking in all public venues!  Vote NO, on Prop 206, and vote YES on Prop 201.  It is our last chance to get past the smoke-screen!....Leaving on a jetplane?  Women are not being allowed to board, and subject to a manual search, if wearing gel or water-enhanced bras!  In a related story, TSA job applications are way up - with anticipation that silicone and saline breast implants may soon be subject to similar searches.  Gives a whole new meaning to 'blonde bombshell!'....Scientists are adding three planets to our solar system, in an effort to placate those not wanting to downgrade Pluto, due its smallish size and eccentric orbit.  The three new planets are Xena, Goofy and Popeye!....The Tohono O'odham Indian tribe is seeking federal reimbursement for costs relating to illegal Mexican immigrants, estimated at $3M per year.  Evidently, the U.S. government does not recognize Indian Nations as sovereign governments for purposes of Homeland Security, but only for casino operations!....It is now predicted that the federal budget deficit will continue to shrink this year, as there is no longer any money in the federal Treasury!....United States Sky Marshalls have established a French connection to terrorist cells, as several Parisian citizens were discovered to be attempting to carry-on deodorant, shampoo and toothpaste!