Howie and Phil were sitting on the nursing home porch.  Howie chuckled, "Spring days like this really take me back.  Do you remember the first time you made love to your wife?"  Phil laughed, "Hell, No!  I don't even remember the last time!"

    Gotta love those Catholics!  A missionary priest discovered a tribe of Yukon natives, that had never recorded a Baptism or Marriage.  The priest rectified the situation by baptising everyone, and marrying every beaming couple that walked by.  Later, the tribal Chief told the priest that the tribe had never had so much fun.  The priest asked which part they enjoyed the most, and the smiling Chief replied, "The marriage services.  We all got new wives!"

    One night, when Sharon and George were in bed, Sharon felt his hand rubbing her shoulders.  "That feels good," she said.  His hand flowed down her back.  "That feels wonderful," Sharon cooed.  His hand moved to her legs.  Sharon urged, "Don't stop!"  But he stopped!  "Why did you stop?" Sharon begged.  George said, "I found the remote!"