Az I See It....
Prologue: Today is National Wear Red Day, in support of Women's Heart Health Month, so WEAR RED!
International: A Mexican man, living in California, was arrested for attempting to exchange his daughter(in marriage, to a neighbor) for $16K, 100 cases of beer, and several cases of meat. Authorities were tipped-off when the man called to ask for assistance in getting her back, because payment wasn't made!
National: Executives of corporations that accept federal bailout money are balking, because President Obama has capped their salaries at $500k/year. It typically takes teachers more than half of their careers to gross that amount, which is why many talented teachers are bailing out!....Grocery bills are high, unemployment is high, the budget deficit is high, and now it is revealed that Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps is high!....The feds are going to purchase upwards of 40,000 electric vehicles, for use on military bases, and anywhere they would be efficiently used. They will buy from 'several manufacturers.' Are you kidding? Why not ONLY buy from American manufacturers? Next we'll be bailing out the Chinese toy industry!....Women must appear nude, in films, if they are to win any of the industry's major acting awards!....Scientists report the discovery of the largest snake ever - as large as a city bus - saying, "It is so big, it could eat a cow!" Uh, wait a minute, no - that's Rush Limbaugh!
State: Arizona's new bankruptcy filings are at a 7-month low. While officials claim that the worst is over, it is more likely that almost everyone is now bankrupt!....ABC-TV 15 News investigators reports that the State is wasting electricity - possibly $5M worth, or more, by leaving lights on when government buildings are not in use. With multi-billion dollar budget deficits looming, officials will now pay APS to do a full energy audit, which findings will conclude with "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!"....Comcast Cable apologized to its customers, in Tucson, and is offering a $10 credit, for interrupting the Super Bowl with 30 seconds of a pornographic program. Concerned subscribers have demanded that comcast provide free access to that program!
Local: Mesa police have changed policy, and will no longer question the legal status of of persons stopped for questioning(if they have ANY form of identification) - in an effort to stop racial profiling. I'm glad I don't live in Mesa!....Accused 'Baseline Killer' Dale Hausner stated his fascination with psychopathic serial killers, and testified that he wanted to meet Jeffrey Dahmer. If justice prevails, he soon will!....Passengers are protesting the lack of bathroom facilities along the light-rail routes. Are you kidding? If they were driving themselves, or riding the bus, they would have to wait until they arrived at their destination to use the facilities. Because they use the PHoenix Area Rapid Transit, they suddenly have the 'urge to go?" Try Flomax - or don't PHART!
Epilogue: Four ways to improve your love life: Kiss for 12 seconds; Compliment your lover five times, daily; Go hiking together; Use fragrances. Women love the scent of a man's cologne. Men love the aroma of a charbroiled burger!
International: A Mexican man, living in California, was arrested for attempting to exchange his daughter(in marriage, to a neighbor) for $16K, 100 cases of beer, and several cases of meat. Authorities were tipped-off when the man called to ask for assistance in getting her back, because payment wasn't made!
National: Executives of corporations that accept federal bailout money are balking, because President Obama has capped their salaries at $500k/year. It typically takes teachers more than half of their careers to gross that amount, which is why many talented teachers are bailing out!....Grocery bills are high, unemployment is high, the budget deficit is high, and now it is revealed that Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps is high!....The feds are going to purchase upwards of 40,000 electric vehicles, for use on military bases, and anywhere they would be efficiently used. They will buy from 'several manufacturers.' Are you kidding? Why not ONLY buy from American manufacturers? Next we'll be bailing out the Chinese toy industry!....Women must appear nude, in films, if they are to win any of the industry's major acting awards!....Scientists report the discovery of the largest snake ever - as large as a city bus - saying, "It is so big, it could eat a cow!" Uh, wait a minute, no - that's Rush Limbaugh!
State: Arizona's new bankruptcy filings are at a 7-month low. While officials claim that the worst is over, it is more likely that almost everyone is now bankrupt!....ABC-TV 15 News investigators reports that the State is wasting electricity - possibly $5M worth, or more, by leaving lights on when government buildings are not in use. With multi-billion dollar budget deficits looming, officials will now pay APS to do a full energy audit, which findings will conclude with "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!"....Comcast Cable apologized to its customers, in Tucson, and is offering a $10 credit, for interrupting the Super Bowl with 30 seconds of a pornographic program. Concerned subscribers have demanded that comcast provide free access to that program!
Local: Mesa police have changed policy, and will no longer question the legal status of of persons stopped for questioning(if they have ANY form of identification) - in an effort to stop racial profiling. I'm glad I don't live in Mesa!....Accused 'Baseline Killer' Dale Hausner stated his fascination with psychopathic serial killers, and testified that he wanted to meet Jeffrey Dahmer. If justice prevails, he soon will!....Passengers are protesting the lack of bathroom facilities along the light-rail routes. Are you kidding? If they were driving themselves, or riding the bus, they would have to wait until they arrived at their destination to use the facilities. Because they use the PHoenix Area Rapid Transit, they suddenly have the 'urge to go?" Try Flomax - or don't PHART!
Epilogue: Four ways to improve your love life: Kiss for 12 seconds; Compliment your lover five times, daily; Go hiking together; Use fragrances. Women love the scent of a man's cologne. Men love the aroma of a charbroiled burger!
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