Az I Laugh At It....
- Complaint from young woman: "My boyfriend has a 30-year mortgage, a 5-year car lease, and a Lifetime gym membership - and he's afraid of commitment!"
- Women are taking fat cells from their buttocks, to have them injected into their lips. Gives a whole new meaning to the statement "Kiss My Ass!"(Thanks, Linda!)
- Sharon came crying, as though her heart was broken. "What's wrong?" I asked. She sobbed, "My beautiful antique vase - George broke it!" "Aw, how did he break it?" I comforted. She replied, "I hit him over the head with it!"
- PJ, with all of his ailments, proclaimed, "I feel like a brand new baby!" "Really?" I queried. "Yeah," he laughed. "No hair, no teeth, and I just wet my pants!"
- Nick: "My wife has the worst memory I've ever heard of."
Bernie: "Forgets everything, huh?"
Nick: "No - remembers everything!"
- A pipe burst at the doctor's house, so he called a plumber. After a few minutes, the job was complete, and the plumber handed the doctor a bill for $600. "This is ridiculous!" the doctor exclaimed. "Even I don't make that much as a doctor!" The plumber replied, "Yeah, neither did I , when I was a doctor!"
- As Howie emerged from the dressing room, the store clerk approached, and said, "No, no - those jeans look terrible on you. I'll get you another pair." Howie grumbled, "I was trying on the shirt!"
- Women are taking fat cells from their buttocks, to have them injected into their lips. Gives a whole new meaning to the statement "Kiss My Ass!"(Thanks, Linda!)
- Sharon came crying, as though her heart was broken. "What's wrong?" I asked. She sobbed, "My beautiful antique vase - George broke it!" "Aw, how did he break it?" I comforted. She replied, "I hit him over the head with it!"
- PJ, with all of his ailments, proclaimed, "I feel like a brand new baby!" "Really?" I queried. "Yeah," he laughed. "No hair, no teeth, and I just wet my pants!"
- Nick: "My wife has the worst memory I've ever heard of."
Bernie: "Forgets everything, huh?"
Nick: "No - remembers everything!"
- A pipe burst at the doctor's house, so he called a plumber. After a few minutes, the job was complete, and the plumber handed the doctor a bill for $600. "This is ridiculous!" the doctor exclaimed. "Even I don't make that much as a doctor!" The plumber replied, "Yeah, neither did I , when I was a doctor!"
- As Howie emerged from the dressing room, the store clerk approached, and said, "No, no - those jeans look terrible on you. I'll get you another pair." Howie grumbled, "I was trying on the shirt!"
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