Az I Laugh At It....
- PJ wasn't feeling well, so he went to see the doctor. After a thorough evaluation, the doctor said, "PJ, based on my exam, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods; give up alcohol; and stop smoking." PJ replied, " Well, to be honest with you doc, I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?"
- Kathy came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told told, by the kindly newsman, that it cost a dollar per word. Kathy sobbed that she only had two dollars, and so wrote out "Bill died." The newsman thought Bill deserved more, and said he'd give her three more words for free. Sharon thanked him, and re-wrote, "Bill died. Boat for sale"
- George wondered, "Sharon, you never argue when we get mad at each other anymore. How can you control your anger?" "I just clean the toilet," answered Sharon. "How does that help?" queried George. Sharon replied, "I use your toothbrush!"
- Little Alec went to the barbershop, and the barber whispered to a customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch - I'll prove it to you!" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand, two quarters in the other, and asks Little Alec, "Which do you want, son?" Without hesitation, Little Alec takes the two quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" laughed the barber. Later, when the customer leaves, he sees Little Alec coming out of the ice cream store, and stops him to ask, "Hey, son - why did you take the two quarters instead of the dollar bill?" Little Alec licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar bill, the game is over!"
- Nick didn't get the job he'd applied for, so he asked Susan to review his job application. Question #1: List your high school, and when you attended. Nick's answer: " Watertown High School - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..."
- Kathy came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obituary. She was told told, by the kindly newsman, that it cost a dollar per word. Kathy sobbed that she only had two dollars, and so wrote out "Bill died." The newsman thought Bill deserved more, and said he'd give her three more words for free. Sharon thanked him, and re-wrote, "Bill died. Boat for sale"
- George wondered, "Sharon, you never argue when we get mad at each other anymore. How can you control your anger?" "I just clean the toilet," answered Sharon. "How does that help?" queried George. Sharon replied, "I use your toothbrush!"
- Little Alec went to the barbershop, and the barber whispered to a customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch - I'll prove it to you!" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand, two quarters in the other, and asks Little Alec, "Which do you want, son?" Without hesitation, Little Alec takes the two quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" laughed the barber. Later, when the customer leaves, he sees Little Alec coming out of the ice cream store, and stops him to ask, "Hey, son - why did you take the two quarters instead of the dollar bill?" Little Alec licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar bill, the game is over!"
- Nick didn't get the job he'd applied for, so he asked Susan to review his job application. Question #1: List your high school, and when you attended. Nick's answer: " Watertown High School - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..."
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