Az I See It....
Prologue: "Good judgment comes from experience, and often, experience comes from bad judgment!" - Rita Mae Brown
International: The Vatican is at it again! Its new international pedophilia rules are a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy, as opposed to U.S. bishops new policy of 'Don't tell, don't ask!'....And Pope Dumb and Dumber XVI has refused to accept the resignations of two Irish bishops, in light of damning evidence in a Dublin sex abuse scandal. Instead, they have been reassigned within their diocese(shhh!)....A Phoenix, Az nun who made the decision to save a mother's life, authorizing the abortion of a fetus, instead of losing both mother and the unborn, has been reassigned to Hell!....Susan Boyle, the Britain's Got Talent sensation, performed for the Pope. Vatican spokesmen exclaimed, "She has the voice of an altar boy!"....Catholic Bishop Peter Hickman has been excommunicated, for ordaining women into the priesthood!....Israeli and Palestinian leaders have vowed to achieve a lasting peace within a year. Their most immediate goal is to decide during which year(maybe!)....France is deporting thousands of Gypsies, who it has determined are there illegally. France is opposed to Arizona's SB1070, which opposes illegal immigration. Go figure!....Fidel Castro is miraculously recovering from whatever ailment he suffered, recently weighing in at 190lbs - up from 140. Seems Sookie gave him some 'V'
National: A rare, 1-in-30 million yellow lobster, found off the coast of Rhode Island, has died, from too much human exposure(tasted like chicken!)....Sen. Jon Kyl(R - Az) led a filibuster to block funding a $34B, one-year unemployment extension. Instead, he advocates a $678B, ten-year extension of tax credits for those earning more than $250K per year!....The only positive legacy that G.W. Bush left was his middle-class tax cuts, and the Republican legislators are refusing to make them permanent unless the wealthiest receive theirs, as well(boo...hiss!)....The Obama administration is against prosecuting illegal immigrants for anything less than 'serious criminal offenses.' Evidently, bankrupting state and local governments is not a crime, but rather an accepted political practice!....We are finally leaving the throes of a nationwide, summer heatwave. Scientists from the Institute for Clinical Knowledge(ICK) had predicted the end would coincide with Congress' summer recess - a massive reduction in hot air!....Several recent surveys show that while American's definition of 'family' is changing, people are more accepting of straight couples with pets than they are of gay couples with children!....A crate of Scotch whiskey, trapped in ice for 100 years, has been opened, after thawing slowly for four years(tasted like chicken!)....Zsa Zsa Gabor won the only Academy Award for 'Most Glamorous'(1958)
State/Local: Ben Quayle, son of former waste-of-a-Vice President Dan Quayle, is the worst candidate for Congress in the history of the United States!....Tom Horne - candidate for Az. Attorney General, says his lifetime ban from the SEC never proved that he defrauded anyone. His record as State School Superintendent proves he defrauded school children(and their parents), sinking Az education to one of the worst in the nation, annually!....Horne will not fight changes to AIMS Scholarships. They will no longer be based on achievement scores of sub-par test standards. They will now be based on a complicated formula correlated to Administrative expenses. If university administrators receive salary increases, then AIMS Scholarship funding will decrease proportionally!....APS will request a large rate increase, as customers that were encouraged to conserve energy(1.1% saved consumption, during the hottest year on record) cost the power provider $10M in lost profits(not losses - lost profits!)....Arizona leads the nation in small aircraft crashes. Veteran pilots attribute this to state-mandated runway speed cameras!
Fun: Log-on to: www.infoplease.com/year/1900.html Where the 1900 is in the web address, change it to YOUR year of birth(don't enter it as 1900, or it will take longer to get where you want to go) Enjoy!
Epilogue: "Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others." - Groucho Marx
International: The Vatican is at it again! Its new international pedophilia rules are a 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy, as opposed to U.S. bishops new policy of 'Don't tell, don't ask!'....And Pope Dumb and Dumber XVI has refused to accept the resignations of two Irish bishops, in light of damning evidence in a Dublin sex abuse scandal. Instead, they have been reassigned within their diocese(shhh!)....A Phoenix, Az nun who made the decision to save a mother's life, authorizing the abortion of a fetus, instead of losing both mother and the unborn, has been reassigned to Hell!....Susan Boyle, the Britain's Got Talent sensation, performed for the Pope. Vatican spokesmen exclaimed, "She has the voice of an altar boy!"....Catholic Bishop Peter Hickman has been excommunicated, for ordaining women into the priesthood!....Israeli and Palestinian leaders have vowed to achieve a lasting peace within a year. Their most immediate goal is to decide during which year(maybe!)....France is deporting thousands of Gypsies, who it has determined are there illegally. France is opposed to Arizona's SB1070, which opposes illegal immigration. Go figure!....Fidel Castro is miraculously recovering from whatever ailment he suffered, recently weighing in at 190lbs - up from 140. Seems Sookie gave him some 'V'
National: A rare, 1-in-30 million yellow lobster, found off the coast of Rhode Island, has died, from too much human exposure(tasted like chicken!)....Sen. Jon Kyl(R - Az) led a filibuster to block funding a $34B, one-year unemployment extension. Instead, he advocates a $678B, ten-year extension of tax credits for those earning more than $250K per year!....The only positive legacy that G.W. Bush left was his middle-class tax cuts, and the Republican legislators are refusing to make them permanent unless the wealthiest receive theirs, as well(boo...hiss!)....The Obama administration is against prosecuting illegal immigrants for anything less than 'serious criminal offenses.' Evidently, bankrupting state and local governments is not a crime, but rather an accepted political practice!....We are finally leaving the throes of a nationwide, summer heatwave. Scientists from the Institute for Clinical Knowledge(ICK) had predicted the end would coincide with Congress' summer recess - a massive reduction in hot air!....Several recent surveys show that while American's definition of 'family' is changing, people are more accepting of straight couples with pets than they are of gay couples with children!....A crate of Scotch whiskey, trapped in ice for 100 years, has been opened, after thawing slowly for four years(tasted like chicken!)....Zsa Zsa Gabor won the only Academy Award for 'Most Glamorous'(1958)
State/Local: Ben Quayle, son of former waste-of-a-Vice President Dan Quayle, is the worst candidate for Congress in the history of the United States!....Tom Horne - candidate for Az. Attorney General, says his lifetime ban from the SEC never proved that he defrauded anyone. His record as State School Superintendent proves he defrauded school children(and their parents), sinking Az education to one of the worst in the nation, annually!....Horne will not fight changes to AIMS Scholarships. They will no longer be based on achievement scores of sub-par test standards. They will now be based on a complicated formula correlated to Administrative expenses. If university administrators receive salary increases, then AIMS Scholarship funding will decrease proportionally!....APS will request a large rate increase, as customers that were encouraged to conserve energy(1.1% saved consumption, during the hottest year on record) cost the power provider $10M in lost profits(not losses - lost profits!)....Arizona leads the nation in small aircraft crashes. Veteran pilots attribute this to state-mandated runway speed cameras!
Fun: Log-on to: www.infoplease.com/year/1900.html Where the 1900 is in the web address, change it to YOUR year of birth(don't enter it as 1900, or it will take longer to get where you want to go) Enjoy!
Epilogue: "Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others." - Groucho Marx
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