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Prologue:  It's good to be King!

- The Bad News is that recent winter storms have brought massive mudslides and flooding to much of the Southwest.  The Good News is that real estate in California and Arizona is on the move again!

- High school graduation rates are up across the U.S.  Really?  REALLY?  Actually, we are still far behind most other industrialized nations, but our lowering of standards, and ignoring of failures, makes for better P.R!

- Just when you thought it may be safe to come out of your wallet, bankruptcies are approaching all-time highs in some regions of the country.  Foreclosures are decreasing, mainly because home ownership is nearing an all-time low!

- House Republican Rep. Hal Rogers has made a name for himself procuring earmark funds for his home state of Kentucky, which he has represented for 30 years.  He will now chair the Appropriations Committee, which is now responsible to trim federal spending.  Said Rogers, "I know just where to start cutting - beginning with any earmarks for Democratic states, and stopping just before any cuts to Republican states!"

- Heterosexual GIs can now serve alongside homosexual GIs, but all along they could serve alongside Afghani soldiers who were sometimes inclined - even Hell-bent - on killing American GIs!

- The U.S. should fund the war in Afghanistan only with enough money and resources to bring all U.S. military members home.  Then move the United Nations HQs from NYC to Kabul, Afghanistan and install Dick Cheney as the new Afghani President!

- Religious leader Pat Robertson says that while marijuana laws are necessary, they are often too harsh for youths, whom the drugs are adversely affecting.  He does not yet advocate decriminalization, however.  Do you sense another scandal brewing!

- Printing problems have forced the delay of more than $1B in $100 bills for general circulation.  Gee - what will all of the newly-minimum-wage-increased workers do without a fresh supply of C-notes?

- Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer's latest gaffe - loss of medical benefits by state workers who are unmarried heterosexual cohabitants.  Interestingly, this was one of her largest electorate demographics!

Epilogue:  I let the Queen know how good it is to be King.  Now she wants to be King!

 

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