Az I Laugh At It....
- A widow recently married to a widower was asked by a friend, "I suppose your husband sometimes talks about his ideal first wife?" "Oh, no, not anymore," came the reply. "Not since I started talking about my ideal next husband!"
- Sharon and George had just finished hanging the new wallpaper. George was annoyed at Sharon's indifference to what he felt was a poor job. George finally said, "The problem is that I'm a perfectionist, and you're not!" "Exactly," said Sharon. "That's why you married me and why I married you!"
- A recent study showed the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah - I can believe that. Just how long does it take to say, "Uh-huh," or "Yes, dear," or "I'm sorry?"
- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The Russian walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America! That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American." He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa." Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
- Sharon and George had just finished hanging the new wallpaper. George was annoyed at Sharon's indifference to what he felt was a poor job. George finally said, "The problem is that I'm a perfectionist, and you're not!" "Exactly," said Sharon. "That's why you married me and why I married you!"
- A recent study showed the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah - I can believe that. Just how long does it take to say, "Uh-huh," or "Yes, dear," or "I'm sorry?"
- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The Russian walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America! That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not American." He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa." Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
Comments