Az I Laugh At It....
- "So, May 21st was NOT the end of the world, but May 31st IS the end of the month!" - A.M.
- Nick arrived home, looking downcast. "That's it," he told his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad, once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went." His wife sympathized. As they sat down, she said, "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try?" "That's no good," he sighed. "Your brother is ninety years old. He can't help." "He may be ninety," said the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day, he went off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He teed up, took a mighty swing and squinted down the fairway. He turned to his brother-in-law, "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did," said the brother-in-law, "I have perfect eyesight." "Then where did it go?" Nick asked. His brother-in-law replied, "I don't remember."
- Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which Bernie had hit numerous
fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course." "Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth."
- An angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for his unselfish
and exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom. "Done!" said the angel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Then all heads turned toward the dean, who sat surrounded by a faint halo of light. He seemed stunned and shocked as a cloud of silence encompassed the room. One of his colleagues leaned
over and whispered to him, "Say something." The dean, now filled with infinite wisdom said, "I should have taken the money."
- One guy asked the skydiving instructor, "If my chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do I have until I hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
- Sorry it's been so long!
- Nick arrived home, looking downcast. "That's it," he told his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad, once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went." His wife sympathized. As they sat down, she said, "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try?" "That's no good," he sighed. "Your brother is ninety years old. He can't help." "He may be ninety," said the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So the next day, he went off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He teed up, took a mighty swing and squinted down the fairway. He turned to his brother-in-law, "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did," said the brother-in-law, "I have perfect eyesight." "Then where did it go?" Nick asked. His brother-in-law replied, "I don't remember."
- Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which Bernie had hit numerous
fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course." "Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth."
- An angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for his unselfish
and exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom. "Done!" said the angel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Then all heads turned toward the dean, who sat surrounded by a faint halo of light. He seemed stunned and shocked as a cloud of silence encompassed the room. One of his colleagues leaned
over and whispered to him, "Say something." The dean, now filled with infinite wisdom said, "I should have taken the money."
- One guy asked the skydiving instructor, "If my chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do I have until I hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
- Sorry it's been so long!
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