Az I Laugh At It....
- A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?" The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
- Bernie related to his doctor, "It has been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable." His doctor questioned, "Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?" "I sure did!" answered Bernie. "The bottle said, 'Keep Tightly Closed'."
- An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
- A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed!
- Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough in the morning, and work late enough nights, you'll make a fortune....if you strike oil!
- Bernie related to his doctor, "It has been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable." His doctor questioned, "Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?" "I sure did!" answered Bernie. "The bottle said, 'Keep Tightly Closed'."
- An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
- A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed!
- Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough in the morning, and work late enough nights, you'll make a fortune....if you strike oil!
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