Az I Laugh At It....
- "I don't do drugs. I get the same effect from standing up!" - The Greek
- Little Alec is caught swearing, by his teacher. The teacher admonished, "Alec, you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where on earth did you hear such talk?" "My daddy said it," Alec replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher, "you don't even know what it means." "Yes, I do," said Alec. "It means the car won't start!"
- Sharon told George, "Go to the store for me and buy one gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get six." A short time later, George returned from the store with six gallons of milk. Sharon asked, Why did you buy six gallons of milk?" George replied, "They had eggs!"
- Howie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for two days, then skip a day....and repeat this regimen for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds," said the doctor. When Howie returned, he shocked the doctor, having lost nearly 30 pounds! "Why, that's amazing," said the doctor. "Did you follow my instructions?" "I did," said Howie, "but I thought I was going to die by the second rotation." "From the hunger?" asked the doctor. "No," said Howie. "From all that skipping!"
- A Purdue University Political Science student was adamant that the law mandating a U.S. President being a 'natural-born citizen should be unconstitutional. Her reasoning? "What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than someone born by C-section?" Yeah - and you're worried about Obama being from Kenya?
Thanks, Hoagy!
- Little Alec is caught swearing, by his teacher. The teacher admonished, "Alec, you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where on earth did you hear such talk?" "My daddy said it," Alec replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher, "you don't even know what it means." "Yes, I do," said Alec. "It means the car won't start!"
- Sharon told George, "Go to the store for me and buy one gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get six." A short time later, George returned from the store with six gallons of milk. Sharon asked, Why did you buy six gallons of milk?" George replied, "They had eggs!"
- Howie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for two days, then skip a day....and repeat this regimen for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds," said the doctor. When Howie returned, he shocked the doctor, having lost nearly 30 pounds! "Why, that's amazing," said the doctor. "Did you follow my instructions?" "I did," said Howie, "but I thought I was going to die by the second rotation." "From the hunger?" asked the doctor. "No," said Howie. "From all that skipping!"
- A Purdue University Political Science student was adamant that the law mandating a U.S. President being a 'natural-born citizen should be unconstitutional. Her reasoning? "What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than someone born by C-section?" Yeah - and you're worried about Obama being from Kenya?
Thanks, Hoagy!
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