Az I Laugh At It....
- A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asked, "Is there a criminal lawyer in town?" To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yes, but we haven't been able to prove it yet!"
- Jewish Modesty: A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim, and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. The Catholic said, “I have a large fortune...I am going to buy Citibank!” The Protestant offered, “I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!” The Muslim countered, “I am a fabulously rich prince...I intend to purchase Microsoft!” They then all waited for the Jew to speak. The Jew stirred his coffee, placed the spoon neatly on the table, took a sip of his coffee, looked at them, and casually said, “I'm not selling!”
- Joan had invited her younger, unmarried sister, Nancy, to leave her country home and come to the city for a weekend visit, with her and her husband, John, and to see how the urban half lived. She then arranged for a friend of hers, named Bill, to take Nancy out for a night on the town. After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude. Then Bill suggested they retire to the bedroom for some love making. "Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves it."
- Due to different landmass dispersal, Earth's gravitational pull is actually inconsistent. So, it's NOT my bathroom scale?
- Jewish Modesty: A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim, and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner. The Catholic said, “I have a large fortune...I am going to buy Citibank!” The Protestant offered, “I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!” The Muslim countered, “I am a fabulously rich prince...I intend to purchase Microsoft!” They then all waited for the Jew to speak. The Jew stirred his coffee, placed the spoon neatly on the table, took a sip of his coffee, looked at them, and casually said, “I'm not selling!”
- Joan had invited her younger, unmarried sister, Nancy, to leave her country home and come to the city for a weekend visit, with her and her husband, John, and to see how the urban half lived. She then arranged for a friend of hers, named Bill, to take Nancy out for a night on the town. After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill and Nancy went to Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude. Then Bill suggested they retire to the bedroom for some love making. "Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently took her arm. "She loves it."
- Due to different landmass dispersal, Earth's gravitational pull is actually inconsistent. So, it's NOT my bathroom scale?
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