Az I Laugh At It....
- A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat." "Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie. "I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."(double-groan!)
- "I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks." - Nick
- Women will never be equal to men, until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
- "There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away." - Kelly
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit 'the target.'
Phil: "Do you remember first meeting your wife?"
Paul: "Sure, I found her lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again."
Phil: "Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her."
Paul: "No, not really. She hated to give up bowling."
- When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you!
- "I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks." - Nick
- Women will never be equal to men, until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
- "There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away." - Kelly
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit 'the target.'
Phil: "Do you remember first meeting your wife?"
Paul: "Sure, I found her lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again."
Phil: "Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her."
Paul: "No, not really. She hated to give up bowling."
- When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you!
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