Az I Laugh At It....
- Sharon was lounging in her backyard, when her neighbor, Phyllis, poked her head over the fence and said, "I don't like being the one to have to tell you this Sharon, but there's a rumor going around that your husband George is chasing the women." "So what?" said Sharon. "But at his age!" said Phyllis, "He's over 65 isn't he?" "Yes, so he's 66, so what?" replied Sharon. "Let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"
- Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps...."
- Nick: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."
Bernie: "Why is that?"
Nick: "I've been screwing his wife."
- Survey Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% answered, "Yes" 11% replied, "No" 72% said, "I am not understanding the question, please."
- This is the story of the poor blonde, flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically called, "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!" All of a sudden she heard a voice over the radio: "The is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She replied, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat." "O.K." said the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father....Who art in Heaven...."
- Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps...."
- Nick: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."
Bernie: "Why is that?"
Nick: "I've been screwing his wife."
- Survey Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% answered, "Yes" 11% replied, "No" 72% said, "I am not understanding the question, please."
- This is the story of the poor blonde, flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically called, "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!" All of a sudden she heard a voice over the radio: "The is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She replied, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat." "O.K." said the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father....Who art in Heaven...."
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