Az I Laugh At It....
- A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Mom: Where were you last night?
Son: Studying with my friends...
Mom: Don't lie!
Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club.
Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?
Son: Yeah....I saw dad!
- Four guys are driving across country together: one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New York. A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are you doing?" The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in Idaho, they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of looking at them!" A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?" The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!" Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.
- A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said,
"I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer
to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
- A young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit, he was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup!"
They came from a land far away
To be able to choose 'whom to pray
then killed those who'd naught
want to live as they taught
Just to celebrate Thanksgiving Day!
Happy Thanksgiving Day, anyway!
Mom: Where were you last night?
Son: Studying with my friends...
Mom: Don't lie!
Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club.
Mom: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?
Son: Yeah....I saw dad!
- Four guys are driving across country together: one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New York. A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are you doing?" The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in Idaho, they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of looking at them!" A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?" The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!" Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.
- A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said,
"I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer
to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
- A young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit, he was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup!"
They came from a land far away
To be able to choose 'whom to pray
then killed those who'd naught
want to live as they taught
Just to celebrate Thanksgiving Day!
Happy Thanksgiving Day, anyway!
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